I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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