All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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