Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
