Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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