You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
