i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
