You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
