best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
