Why does Corona taste like a burp?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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