I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
