I think i peed on brittanys purse
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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