New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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