Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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