Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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