Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
