so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
You need Xanax blowdarts
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
