he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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