she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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