Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
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