Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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