I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
