so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Randomize
