I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
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