We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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