Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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