My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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