Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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