Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
