This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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