I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
