I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
