Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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