Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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