$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
