Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
