You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
