I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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