I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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