gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Watching her eat just hurts me
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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