The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize