I wannas sexs uuuuu
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
