so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
