watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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