Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize