I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Can vaginas get frostbite?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
