I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
