dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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