I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
