remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
