Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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