How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
