Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Come see our sink grown plant.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i came on her dog
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
