so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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