That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
