Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
