I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
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