i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
